Jan. 12, 2018

Before meditation this morning, I read a bit from The Recognition Sutras by Christopher Wallis – the first chapter- that Awareness creates everything, that everything is awareness.

Awareness, needing nothing outside of itself, is the cause of the manifestation of all things.

Awareness, of its own accord, is the cause of the [ultimate] fulfillment of all things [beings].

Autonomous awareness is the source of all attainments.

Autonomous awareness can be accessed through the experience of anything.

Awareness voluntarily causes all things to become what they are.

Awareness, free and independent, is the cause of the magic of the universe. Pg 44

Awareness. That encompasses everything, to be sure.

As an artist, my job is to be aware of technique, the handling of whatever medium I am using- mostly watercolor of late, and indeed I must be aware of all the subtly of the water on my page, in my brush, the dryness of the paper or not- what I am attempting to create is directly related to my awareness of all of these variables. And so true with any other activity in my life, from the most mundane – when washing dishes, it is a good idea to be aware of whether you are removing food particles, soap as you rinse, etc, or driving- one better be aware, consciously aware of what is happening on the road.

And probably more important and an area we, as humans tend to fall down on, is awareness of our feelings, or, if we are aware of our feelings, how are we managing them? How often are we asked to attend to someone’s needs, and it just doesn’t feel right. Are we listening to ourselves? Or are we living up to some external expectation, and if this is the case, how often, how draining does it become? How sick do we make ourselves?

Awareness on a deeper level or internal level could mean listening to our intuition, the soft whispers that remind us we forgot something, or to be patient.

How aware are we of the reactions we have towards certain people and situations, and how those reactions can tell us something very significant about our own personal truth? Anyone who has had children can attest to buttons being pushed from our teenager’s behavior- or younger. The ability to be aware that that button being pushed is a whole world of information about self is extremely freeing if you are willing to explore. The feelings, becoming aware of the feelings, feeling the feelings. For me, this has been an extraordinary experience, an incredible gift my children have given me to better understand myself.

But I wouldn’t be able to do anything, or make anything of it if I were not aware. If I were not practicing awareness, you could call it mindfulness, I would be a pathetic blob of victim-hood, utterly run by my inner child, who is just scared.

How does one become aware, you may ask? Listening for one, listening to my, for lack of a better word, higher self, the part of me that I access through quiet contemplation. A regular practice of meditation has enhanced my ability to cut through the crap of my incessant, unyielding, critical mind. For years it was through walking, and painting or art making that I was “tuning” in, but later in my life, it became imperative that I sit.

In my thirties I was introduced to chanting. That appealed to me, as I have a strong voice and love to sing, but I was unfulfilled with the dogma attached to the group leading the chanting. It wasn’t that I didn’t agree with what was being taught, just that it was limiting.

In my 40’s, I started meditating with a CD. It was guided, a visualization that allowed for a 10-minute quiet repose. Soon I needed more than 10 min- 20 became 40 and, by then, I had created my own breathing routine and visualization which took me to that space of quiet. For the past year it has been for 1 hour. If you had told me 10 years ago that I would be easily meditating for one hour I would have said, emphatically, ” No way!!!”

As it is, I have been very consistent, though sometimes I just can’t, for various reasons. I don’t shame myself, I acknowledge it is a practice, and I begin again.

I have found that when I am feeling aimless, or disconnected, my meditation always grounds me and gets me on track. Through meditation my connection with Spirit is louder- I can hear the guidance louder. And yes, I have always been clairaudient, but I know each and every person is connected and can “hear” in their own way. some people feel, deeply,, some can see, some have a ‘knowing’. Each person need just nurture that connection with awareness.

Another tool that I use constantly is I ask for guidance. It is inevitable that I will get an answer to my queries -prayers you may call them, through various means; books fall off of shelves, conversations overheard, license plates, literal sign posts. The Goddess works in mysterious ways, and though I would not rule out someone knocking on your door, mostly, in my experience, Spirit speaks in metaphor.

Now, the Universe answers in it’s own time. Patience and faith or trust are imperative on this journey to awakeness. I think I just created a word.

Yes, becoming aware equals awakening. When you are aware of your thoughts, you become aware of your motivations, and with that knowledge you can begin to see your Truth. Hopefully, when you really get to know yourself, when you get honest with yourself, your life begins to change for the better. Some call that self actualization.

Now you are free to truly enjoy the world that you are creating.