More Love- and Death

March 22,2018

I have been inundating myself with information regarding Near Death experiences. I have read a few books, most notably, Dr.Eben Alexander’s Proof of Heaven and Living in a Mindful Universe, Rajiv Parti’s, Dying to Wake- Up, Anita Moorjani’s Dying to Be Me, and Dr. Mary Neal’s To Heaven and Back and 7 Lessons from Heaven ( I mostly listen to books as I can create and listen at the same time), and I have listen to many, many videos on You Tube provided from IANDs conferences.

IANDs stands for International Association for Near Death Studies, and they have a chapter in Santa Barbara, with monthly meetings, that I have found myself at these past two months. I wish I had gone sooner!

Why, you may ask, am I so enthralled with death? Because, the experiences of those who have dipped into the world of consciousness without one’s bodies tells us so much about how to live in the body!!!!

It turns out that no one NDE is the same. But there are striking similarities, the big three being:




LOVE– Firstly, the message seems to be quite clear. Even if you die and visit with Jesus, as Mary Neal did, you will understand that GOD, loves everyone the same. No religion has favor in Heaven if you want to use that term. God, also referred to in my vocabulary as Source Energy, or consciousness, is everything, we are but the experience of that LOVE.

Yes, everything is love and it is imperative that we love more- love everyone, and everything because love is the greatest force, or vibration of all. YOU cannot be in fear when you are in love. When you go to the other side you are enveloped in a soup of love that is almost indescribable, but everyone who has been there says it is HOME!!! They don’t want to come back because when living in body, they don’t feel the love so strongly and it is difficult.

None the less, as they are pushed back to complete whatever they need to do in this world, in body, they KNOW that loving and being loving, living non-judgmentally, empathetic and just plain kind is paramount to their survival. Most people who have had an NDE come back with a heightened energetic perception, and sometimes, if they do not know how to deal with this new awareness, find life very difficult.


Forgiveness is one of those ideas we bandy about, but what does it really mean? Forgiveness is not about condoning a person’s behavior. Forgiveness is not about allowing others to treat you poorly, without regard to your well-being. Forgiveness is not about disregarding your truth.

Forgiveness is about recognizing that your actions and those of others are just opportunities for growth, soul growth. Forgiveness is about letting go of bad behavior, not holding on, retelling a story of perceive wrong, of keeping alive an action perpetrated upon yourself or by yourself in the past. We all do things that upon greater knowledge of the situation, regret doing. So, we learn from it. That is all we need to do, is learn from it so we don’t repeat it.

But, for some reason, whether it be from society, cultural, religious or familial programing, we hold onto the action and ruminate about it, feeling guilty or hatred toward ourselves or the other- the person who perpetrated the act, and that rumination leads to self-loathing, feelings of unworthiness and for some, the need to retaliate.

What NDErs learn from “crossing the veil” is that the energy of holding any sort of anger, revenge or hatred towards self or others is unproductive. In fact, the holding of self or other in judgment creates negativity that causes suffering.

So, when Christ said, so famously on the cross, “Forgive them lord, they know not what they do” he wasn’t saying that the act was ok, he wasn’t saying that he was okay with being crucified, He was saying that their ignorance keeps them from reaping the rewards of an open and full heart. Jesus was telling us not to judge others because we do not know their whole story, the motivation behind their actions, the lack of love in their life that would cause them to act in atrocious and unloving ways. And I must mention, since I am using Jesus as an example, He was saying that the world does not understand what he came to teach. That Love is the only thing worth striving for. No amount of money, prestige or fame created without love will serve you. The Devil exists in the absence of LOVE and true love engenders forgiveness.

Without forgiveness, you or any individual not being forgiven in your heart prolongs the suffering of any past action towards yourself.

“How do I forgive?” you may ask. You sort of fake it until you make it. It is just like looking in the mirror and telling yourself you love yourself- it may seem hard and awkward at first, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.

I have a little ditty I pick-up form Florence Scoval Shinn.

“Name of Person or Situation” is a Golden link in the Chain of my greater Good.

Simple. You don’t even have to say the word “forgiveness”. If you say this 15 times, daily, you will feel a shift. Soon, you will be able to say, “I forgive this person”.

Just because you forgive, does not mean you have to stay in an abusive situation!!! I just want to be sure to say that. If someone is not treating you well and respectfully, or your children or your mother, etc. you need to remove yourself from the situation. Period!!!

Forgiveness and the act of sending loving thoughts can also have a huge impact on the consciousness of all. If your elected officials are not working in your favor, try sending a blessing to them, forgiving them for their ignorance and continue to vote with your conscious. Slander and hatred only begets more of the same.

This is something I am working on, to stop the gossip. It is so easy to talk about others and their actions. We are inundated with others “dirty laundry” on the TV and the internet, even the grocery store line.

I’m thinking my next time in line at the grocery store, I’m going to send waves of love towards the tabloids. I laugh at myself for these ideas, but know it is truth. We have to stop the BS!!!


Service is as simple as smiling, saying hello, or giving a complete stranger a compliment. You do not have to become Mother Theresa.

Buying extra groceries at the supermarket to donate to the local food bank is a service. Writing your mother or grandma a little note is a service. Allowing someone at the stop sign to go first is a service. Just intending to be kinder to all that you meet is a service.

Talking about Death

For those who have had a near death experience, and it seems to be on the rise, both in terms of experience-rs and people who are coming out of the NDE closet, often what is most difficult is not being able to talk about the experience.

Our society, the mainstream, is not very open to new ideas, especially if tied to “other worldly” experiences. Scientist, therefore the medical profession who are dogmatically tied to Materialist thinking have, in the past, chalked up any out of body experience as caused by drug induced hallucination. Even with compelling evidence from the person who “died” on the table, doctors and nurses dismiss the stories NDE’ers are so eager to tell when they are back in body. I would like to say this is changing rapidly, that not all doctors and nurses flatly refuse to believe the person telling the story, but I have heard some sad stories of people being disregarded.

I am an optimist and seem to live in a bubble- but not everyone grows up with a grandma that tells you that when you die, your true self survives and you will see what you expect to see on the “other side”. She would tell me, when I asked what happens when we die, “If you think Heaven is a meadow of flowers you will see that , and if you expect to see God, you will” – meaning your consciousness forms your reality, my words as she used very simple words to explain a complex subject to a 8 or 9 year old child.

She even went on to say that you would meet helpers who would explain what was going on, where you were and how things operated, and if you didn’t want to hear any of that, your helpers would patiently wait until you were ready to hear it.

Even when I was so young I wanted to know about our existence on this Earth!!! My Grandma Bess was so great!!!

It seems that even folks who live in Bible Thumping communities, the folks who, I would think, would be most open to stories of meeting God, or even Jesus, seem to be met with the harshest of judgment- “That can only be the workings of the Devil”. (I am so naïve, when I hear these stories about devil and superstition from people who read a book full of prophecy. Why is prophecy only for those who lived 5,000 years ago? How come Jesus can’t visit upon someone now, in 2018?) I digress.

Raymond Moody, a psychologist, philosopher and physician, published a book, 40 years or so ago, in which he coined the term, Near Death Experience. The book, Life After Life, was forefront in entering the idea of life after death into the collective consciousness of what we call “our reality”-the mainstream of today.

Of course, there has always been this knowing from many sources of philosophy and religion, but this book and the rest to follow from the “Soft Sciences” was a pivotal point for people who had not had any exposure to Eastern thought regarding reincarnation.

For those who had experienced an NDE up until this point, they often felt very alone and to keep their experience under the radar, for fear of being called crazy or demonic. (I can’t help but wonder how many people have ended up being diagnosed with some label of mental illness because of their own inability to explain their experience.)

Thankfully IANDs exists. It is a great organization made up of people from all walks of life, people who were born with many divergent lifestyles and upbringings that share an awakening event. This organization is helping the world to wake up and smell the coffee.

Our reason for living here on this Earth in these bodies is to learn to be more loving and forgiving, to be service minded, caring for each other, not manipulating others to get what we want for ourselves. This world, this life is not about getting the biggest and best car, house, shoes, handbag, whatever!!!

Our lives are about connection, loving connection with ourselves, and everyone else, as they are us!!! Ultimately it is an inside job!!

Ralph Waldo Emerson said so eloquently, “What lies behind us, and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” This sentiment has been echoed by more than a few modern philosophers, “When we don’t go within, we go without”. This idea that we don’t know what is right or how to live in the world is the programing of the external world.

We, each and everyone of are connected to a great web of understanding and knowledge and we just need to listen. That’s what going within is all about and why meditation is so highly recommended.

So, death is not an ending, but another beginning, as much as every experience we have in life is. That is why I want so much to talk about death.

Sounds like another blog post brewing…

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